Thursday, September 28, 2006

A brief vent about the S-word...

I'm having "those" conversations. You know, the ones where someone who I've recently met (which is almost everyone I know right now), finds out I homeschool. And they cheerfully let me know that it is fine with them if I homeschool, "as long as the kids are getting enough socialization." Gee, Thanks! I love it when relative strangers give me approval to parent my kids, especially with contingencies!

I know this is intended nicely-- they don't intend to be critical, and anyone who doesn't know anything about homeschooling "knows" that socialization is the real challenge, right?

The thing I don't get is this: I don't knit. If I met someone who was taking up knitting, I wouldn't give them advice, because I would assume they probably know more about it than I do, even if they were just starting. Homeschooling is a much bigger undertaking than knitting a scarf, and yet people seem to assume I've leapt into it with no thought at all.

For the record, grouping kids with same-age peers isn't something schools do to meet an innate need of children. They do it because it's efficient. There is no reason to believe kids need to spend 6 hours a day, 5 days a week surrounded other kids. My memory is that we weren't allowed to talk most of the school day; I don't know how sitting next to someone to whom you aren't allowed to speak counts as social time anyhow. We are talking all day, and regularly interacting with people of all ages (yes, including same-age peers).

The idea that putting kids in a big group with few adults is necessary to teach social skills always confused me. I wouldn't expect 5 year olds to teach each other to cook-- sure they'd probably figure some stuff out, but probably not what you were hoping for and chances are good that somebody would wind up getting hurt. I think the same is true of social skills. A key difference is that kids do need other kids to practice their social skills, but that's easily done, even while homeschooling.

Vent over!

2 comments:

momto5minnies said...

EXCELLENT POINTS! It bothers me a lot when people pass judment on things that they know nothing of. Some of these people are supposed to be smart too ;)

I was talking with my Mom today about my gripes with the girls school and especially Karin (who is a lot like my sister Heleen). Anyway, she just blurted out ... you are smart, SCott is smart, why don't you just homeschool her. YAY! I am so glad that someone in my family will not criticize my decision. I feel so much better and stronger today.

As time goes on, I know that the little things will probably not bother you as much. Just give it some time and soon enough you will have some great come back lines to feed to others.

momto5minnies said...

AND there is no socializing in my daughter's school. IF you even say "what a beautiful song" in church, you will get a conduct mark. IF GOD only knew!